“It’s like finding the wi-fi in your soul,” he said.

“Yeah. Yeah. Something like that.”

In the first few dates that we had together, David used those words in an attempt to explain what our intense connection is like. A moment where it feels like suddenly everything floods open, connection is running fast and deep, and the everything seems like a technicolor dream world.

A photo from my very first Summer with David Varlow, bathed in the cauldron smoke of the incense we made together. We got engaged 9 days after this photo was taken in the Chelsea Hotel, New York City.

One of my favorite things to think about is true love (in relationship, in friendships, in our genuine work in the world),

Which made me ask the question to myself:

What makes us fall in love with each other as humans?

How do we open up that “wi-fi to our souls” and find connection with others?

I should probably let you know that because you are here as part of the badass coven known as The Parlour, I’m getting ready for our February Coven Class on Sunday, February 11th at 3pm EST: Supernatural Seduction
… so it’s ON MY MIND.

So I write this post looking at what other people have done to make them seem irresistible to me.
What things have made me pursue friendships and love in my life?

I spoke to other people about this –
people that just crossed my path in a random day….

What makes you fall in love with other people?

The First Rule To Get ANYONE To Fall In Love With You:

♥Fantasy Connections♥

What do I mean by that?

Okay. No matter who you are…
You, at one point in your lifetime,
have gotten completely swoon-ish
over a musician, an actor, or a writer that you don’t know in real life.

Am I right?

In every single person that I’ve spoken with,
male and female,
every single one of them recalled an absolute “head over heels” lust/love
for one of these versions of artists.

Sid Vicious was mine.
And he was already dead.
So he couldn’t break my heart any more.

The reason WHY we ALL have some kind of first crush/first love on these types of people, is because no matter who we are, we all have some kind of fantasy of being them.

Imagine your first super crush on someone who didn’t know (like a celebrity) –
I ask you this…
wouldn’t you want to do what they are doing or have the lifestyle that they have?

Part of that “love” charge is seeing a deep-seated fantasy that you have for yourself come alive through someone else.

THAT is one of the major reasons that we fall in love with each other –
that on some level,
the person of your affections,
is doing something that in some way YOU want to do,
or has a lifestyle you’ve fantasized about.

In fact, every single one of my closest friends that I capital L. O. V. E. is doing something that my fantasy self would want to do (if I could live a billion lifetimes at once).

They inspire me, fascinate me, intrigue me and make me fall in love.

For example, the things that intrigued me about David is that he is:

♥ Creative: he plays guitar and he would organize these get-togethers where people could play music and sing (he even made an incredible songbook for people who gathered so they would know the chords and the lyrics)

♥ Active & Adventurous: this man loves a bike – he bikes all over New York City and New Orleans and part of our early courting period was biking 15 miles to Coney Island every Friday, throwing ourselves in the ocean, rewarding ourselves with boardwalk onion rings and cokes, soaking up the last bit of sun on that legendary beach and then watching the fireworks at night and going on rides.

♥ Magick: On our second date, David read me my tarot cards (guess who picked the Lovers card in a three card spread? This guy!) Not only is he gifted in the supernatural arts, but he also has a connection with the natural world in a way that I haven’t experienced before. He walks down the street in Spring and actually stops and smells the blooming flowers and takes in their intoxicating scents. He loves swimming and looking up at the sky and the clouds and letting the earth and the water embrace him fully. He is deeply curious about herbs, roots and flowers – he’s picked clovers for me to eat with him and picked wild flowers for my hair. His natural curiosity and his ability to connect on such a deep level moment to moment is also such a key to his being an incredible lover (and I will share some of those tips in our Supernatural Seduction class!)

Want to be someone that people can’t RESIST?

In the example above, David hit my Holy Trinity (Creative/Active & Adventurous/Magick) because how he lives his life was how I wanted to live my life! He is a secret mirror of all the cool stuff I was attracted to and wanted to do, too. Also, I just appreciate the things he does that he is so passionate about, because it inspires me and sparks me up!

SO, my darling….what lights you up?

If you want people to fall in love with you,
you need to focus your own life
to be the fantasy YOU want.

I feel like everyone has a “magnet” inside them…
and if you are doing what you love, working on things you love and feeling more like “the real you” – your magnet will be strong to attract likeminded others to you.

What is one of your favorite dreams about YOU?
Put this into action.
Even a small step forward will be something you can interestingly bring up in conversation…
and it will snowball to good things.

People who do what they are passionate about are the most irresistible.
Keep being you.
Keep taking those steps towards things that make you feel more “you” than usual.
People who constantly grow can make anyone fall in love them…..

TRUTH.

Do you agree with this? What is something that lights you up that you do that acts as a magnet?
Share your comments!

Falling in love with you already.