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Veronica Varlow
  -  Things I Think About Thursday   -  Things I Think About Thursday: Walking the Tight Rope of Your Ultimate Dream

Why the eff do we put off our ultimate dreams?

Photo by Steven Meisel for Alberta Ferretti

Photo by Steven Meisel for Alberta Ferretti

Because the risks are so very high.

Because the success vs. failure rate for our dream could have the ability to make or break as people.

In the past four days, two of my friends, Flambeaux and Miss Gemini achieved their final goals in nail biting finishes on Kickstarter.  In the last week of their funding, both were far short of what they needed.  As I watched and refreshed their status, I could feel the fear creep in.

It is the desperation of a dream on a high wire without a net.

There is one of two choices in these crowdfunding outcomes….a dream falling to its death or getting to the other side with wild applause.

So far, I have not had the stomach to throw my hat in that ring.

Because I am afraid.

My dream of Revolver feels too dear and too precious to put through that, so I delay it.  I do everything else in my life BUT it.  I keep it in a box tucked away.

And the time is coming to take it out of hiding.

I am really proud of my friends who have had the courage to put their dream projects out there and got them funded.  I’ve donated to all of them and also donated prizes – because I want to help birth good projects into this world.  I want art spaces and incredible shows.  I want great music to listen to and great films to see.   As a backer, crowdfunding is how I vote.

I have never been to church, but I am familiar with the concept of tithing (contributing 10% of your income to the church to keep it running).  The arts are my church.  It is what I believe in the most.  Art, music, theater, film – they hit me emotionally, make me feel alive, soar me to ecstasy or make me crawl into a corner and cry.  Art is the greatest celebration of life.  And so I tithe and I will continue to do so.  The one I’m donating to this month is to my twin soul, Our Lady J, to fund her album.

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The time is coming for my own project to hatch.  Because it’s a film and we’ve been realistically looking at a minimum basement budget of 50,000 to 75,000 – it’s terrifying to me.  My whole life, I have prided myself on being independent, of not asking for things, and I honestly wonder if I know enough people that could pull that kind of large sum.  It seems almost insurmountable.  Thinking about doing the kickstarter gives me hives.  But I know I can’t hide anymore.

Time is short in this world.  The burlesque world was rocked with sadness this past week over the sudden loss of Sparkly Devil.   I am reminded that time is not guaranteed to any of us.

R.I.P. Sparkly Devil

R.I.P. Sparkly Devil

Her philosophy of life was this:  “Be fucking fabulous, live for joy, embrace the beauty of the absurd and fuck anyone who gets in the way of your happy.”

I move forward with the wise words she left us.

My own fear has gotten in the way of my happiness.

It is time to move it aside.

Nay.  Throw it.

Am I the only one who stalls in my own tracks over the thought of my greatest dream?

Are you out there, too?

Tell me in the comments what your greatest dream is.  How can we achieve this together?  Show me pictures, put video, sing a song, show me art.  Do it.

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