The ceiling was dripping with thousands of Christmas lights.
The tiny restaurant was tucked in a second floor window front in the East Village.
And for the very first time I ever slid across from him for a meal, the table was so small between us, our faces were practically touching.

Perfect.

We hadn’t even kissed yet. It would be another three weeks before that happened….outside, under a full moon. But I digress……

I could tell that night. In that very first meal together, that he would make an amazing lover.

And I was right on.

These are 3 ways to spot the lover of your dreams….before the check at the restaurant even arrives. I can tell if someone will be good in bed or not, just by the way they eat. When partaking in a delicious meal…here are the three questions you should remember:

1. Do they moan while they eat?

Do they hum, “mmmmmmm”, the second they put a bite in their mouth? Does their face light up? Do they remark…”Wow.” This is going to clue me in to if they are an expressive lover or not.

Do they gush over something amazing they tasted? Do they insist you try a bite with enthusiastic vigor?

Before moving to the bedroom, ask yourself: Do you know, without having to ask them, if they enjoyed their meal or not?

You want the person who is going to moan in delight over the simplest of pleasures.

2. Are they kind to the Waiter/Waitress/Barista?

Watch with an eagle eye how your date treats the wait staff at a restaurant for this will reveal all. Everyone wants to look their best on a date, so of course your date should be showing you their best side, but what about the waiter?

If your date is aware of and kind to the waiter, this shows that your date is open and communicative. He or She appreciates that someone is serving them a meal, and is being interactive and respectful in return. This is someone that will care about revving up your va-va-voom and will be wildly attentive to you.

If your date is sweet to you and rude to the waiter, ditch ’em! That person will end up treating you like they treat the waiter after they’ve gotten what they want.

3. Are they taking their time to savor every moment of their meal?

Do they lick the spoon at the last bite of desert?
Are they using their fingers to get every last bite?
Are they offering bites of their food?
Perhaps they might even be making the move to feed you!

If a delicious meal is put in front of someone, and they mindlessly shove it into their mouth…you do not want this person as your lover. Trust me, unless two minutes of rushed humping then back to TV is your style.

This is how I see it…all of life is a delicious meal in some way or another…and some people never stop to savor it.

You want to seek out the ones that do.

The way they eat plays a lot into it. In fact, just yesterday, I met my vampy friend, Alise, for a quick coffee break in town. When the iced latte she ordered was slightly foaming over the rim of the glass, without even thinking, she casually took her finger, traced it along the top of the glass, and stuck her finger in her mouth.

Damn.

Noted.

Bon appetit, Lovers!